‘Asthma runs through my family – but we never thought it would kill one of us’

Some nights, as I’m falling asleep, my bedroom light mysteriously flickers. It always makes me smile as I know it’s another of my sister’s mischievous ways of keeping our connection alive.

Because, you see, my younger sister Dominique, or Domi as we called her, died suddenly from an asthma attack 9 years ago in July 2017. She was only 19 and losing her will never make sense.

On the evening Domi died, we’d been chatting on the phone as usual, and she collapsed at her home half an hour later. Her death was unimaginably quick. She’d gone by the time the paramedics got her to hospital.

Losing Domi didn’t just devastate my whole family, it left my then five-month-old nephew, Kayden-James, without his mum.

The truth about asthma

Asthma runs through my family like a suffocating cord, but we never thought it would kill one of us. Even now, it still astounds me that someone as young and vibrant as Domi could just slip away like that. But as I’ve learnt, in the most painful way possible, asthma can be fatal. It’s responsible for 4 deaths in this country every day. Yet still so little is known about the condition, even though it affects 7.2 million people in the UK – more than 1 in 10 of us.

It hurts me to say this, but Domi never really took her asthma seriously. She’d been hospitalised several times in the months leading up to her death, but she hated going to the doctor.

Instead, she relied on her reliever inhaler rather than going for a check-up. I now know that overreliance on relievers is linked to preventable deaths. Asthma guidelines state that in most cases, it’s better to use a combination inhaler to relieve the symptoms and reduce inflammation at the same time.

Loud and larger than life, my sister simply didn’t have time to be ill. She was too busy being a devoted young mum, living life at full pelt.

I was 4 years older than Domi and while I’m quiet, cautious, and live by the rules, she broke them all. Despite our differences, we were incredibly close, and I couldn’t sleep or eat properly for months after she passed away. It all seemed so wrong. As a single mother who has asthma too, I was terrified that a sudden attack would take me away too, and that my children, Esmae, now 13, and Raegan, 11, would be left all alone.

Unanswered questions

In the years following Domi’s death, I focused on my health, and I even lost 8 stones. My son has asthma, as does my nephew and various other relatives. I learnt everything I could about the condition and I started working with Asthma + Lung UK, not only to increase awareness of asthma, but also to raise hundreds of pounds towards funding for better support services.

We organised fundraising bike rides and picnics on the beach close to my home. And I felt proud to play my part in protecting those most at risk of a fatal asthma attack.

But I still have so many unanswered questions about why my sister died. Domi passed away on the hottest day of the year. Did the heat trigger her final attack? Or was the fact she’d recently given birth a factor? Changes in female sex hormones can exacerbate asthma, but scientists still don’t know why, which is why we need more research.

There is little information on how lung conditions like asthma are inherited, and why some people are affected so much more than others. These are questions that need answering, not just for the sake of science but for ordinary families just like mine.

With better research and new treatments, conditions like asthma could be better managed and one day even prevented.

Joining Our Future Health

Since Domi’s death, I’ve done everything I can to honour her short life, whether that’s being the best auntie I can to Kayden-James, now 9, or pushing for better understanding of chronic conditions like asthma.

And that’s why, when I saw Our Future Health was setting up a mobile testing unit in my hometown of Port Talbot, I didn’t think twice about signing up and booking an appointment.

It was such a painless process. Since then, my entire family has joined the programme too. With medical research that truly represents people from all kinds of backgrounds, I hope we can uncover what causes conditions like asthma.

It’s my dream now that by the time mine and Domi’s children have children, programmes like Our Future Health will mean that more people are able to live longer, healthier lives.

Asthma + Lung UK is a Founding Charity Partner of Our Future Health. For advice on how to manage asthma, visit Asthma + Lung UK